Can You Be Just Friends with Someone You Love?

Why Guys And Girls Can Never Be Just Friends

by Kris Lazaro

In most romantic comedies, we find friends who magically fall in love with each other and live happily ever after: a situation in the real world that will hardly happen. Although there are instances where guys and girls can be ‘just friends’ (circumstances where either party has no feelings for the other), in most times it is really difficult to maintain a friendship with the opposite gender.

Friendships can take on many forms, but once a friendship becomes ‘close’ between a male and a female, it is only inevitable that one party falls for the other. In general, innocent intimacy forms between really close friends: a fact that will form the basis of my argument. Many things breakup a friendship, but perhaps the thing that breaks up most opposite-gender friendships is this topic.

On a personal note, I, too have fallen for my best friend. We met in high school and became really close friends. When we both moved away for college, we stayed in close contact: talking to each other on the phone almost on a daily basis, and seeing each other during holidays and breaks. This closeness developed feelings in me for her, and I tried to bottle up these emotions, but one can only hold it in for so much. When I finally told her how I felt, our friendship indeed suffered. She did not share the same feelings as I did, and for this I felt hurt. We did not communicate with each other for several months following this, and even though we now talk, it has not been the same.

If one of the parties holds in their emotions for the other person, it will ultimately burst out in the end. When that friend in question starts going out, and/or gets a significant other, it will be quite painful for the prior. I suggest telling that other person, notwithstanding a negative outcome (one might as well know the truth, before someone gets really hurt in the end).

In closing, do not fall for your opposite-gender friend, lest you risk your friendship.

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